Roof Dwellers v Blockheads

Scotty the pied piper

Where is Scotty taking them later in the episode? The massage joint or the laundromat? Both get a workout from this little black duck.

Oh that’s right tonight is about learning how to style a room for maximum sales impact, B & C say they are lacking ‘stuff’.

Oooh tune! The hits keep on rollin on Block FM with Rapper’s Delight which led me to find this video of the extended mix with fab footage of dance TV shows in the 70s. Fly! When I thought of doing this blog I never thought it would be part music history as well. Bonus!

Hans talks positively about his wet patches and that he could air them naturally, unfortunately they’re pretty much 48 hours behind. But whatevs, as Courtney stifles a yawn. Spence is getting busy, and looks like he’s enjoying himself again and is in his happy place hanging with other tradies. And we find out that now Sara has moved on from her Wallpaper Lady Husband Hayden has had to provide her the emotional support that she needs, also – how messy has their room become in such a short time? Hashtag no judgement.

I’m not good at forward planning, so I’d be terrible at being on The Block so I was screaming in silent horror to see that they have to already put in orders for kitchen stuff, while they work on a guest bedroom.

Spence has a D&M with floorDan about floor weight and stuff because of their potentially hefty fridges. Originally I thought he meant physical weight but now I think it’s the emotional weight – they ‘spent’ FORTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS on Three (3) THREE fridges.

Nuff said Dan. Although I’d love to hear Jess’ take on three fridges that cost the same as an annual wage. And for one apartment! My $200 reconditioned jobby from *that* fridge joint on Chapel Street has seen me well. Oh and with some careful planning their weighty items will probably work with their floor weight baring load. If that’s even a term. B & C have their Real Estate meeting and win over their preferred choice over Sara and Hayden.

After the break, the crew follow Sara wandering around Chapel Street up near the Jam Factory and then go into a shoppe with her where she and the sales assistant trade ideas or something and there’s also a bit of Sara and Hayden couch time where Sara is trying to explain her process and as per the mum rule “If you’ve got nothing nice to say”, I’ll just leave this up here and thanks to Scott Cam for saying it much more evenly than I could

You know when there’s people that remind you of other people you know, and you can’t help but bring that prejudice to the new person. I think I have that with Sara and I really need to work on it. Or maybe it’s not just me.

Well and just like that I find out it’s not just me, or you, perhaps. B&C have a phone chat with the auctioneer that Hayden and Sara were also courting who said he had some issues with their decision making and would prefer to sell for B&C. It’s a real estate agent, so while B&C probably take the moral victory can we believe someone in Real Estate? Surely it’s about the potential commission…or am I just too cynical. Bianca debriefs after the call: “Hayden and Sara just give everyone a headache it seems”. Sara is unperturbed reacting to the news in another couch session “they can have our leftovers”. Said with the sincerity of a real estate agent.

<Hi to all the real estate agents reading this! I work in Mainstream Media when I’m not doing this blog so we all have our cross to bear and our detractors!>

Boho ohno! Kerrie almost has a stroke in a homewares store that has everything in every grade of beige, I’m not entirely convinced a midnight blue minky blanket is fulfilling the brief… Meanwhile Jess has been reading again or something, and calls an engineer in to discuss the possibility of a patio pool. Doug is going off to do some preliminary homework. My mind goes immediately to my idea from summer 13/14 for a BYOBUPP (Bring Your Own Blow Up Pool Party) there’s great inflatables now, Melbourne’s weather can be um eclectic don’t commit to a permanent fixture!

Anyway I can’t stand it, I know you planned it… Beastie Boys’ Sabotage kicks in as Scotty tells everyone to get out and they go on a little walk, across Fitzroy Street to Jackson Street (as per the photo of the beginning of tonight’s blog) and the hang a left to continue towards Grey Street and they stop at the For Sale Wattle House (which is UHMAZING and protected check this out for some background, it’s one of the oldest houses in the State).

The purpose of the exercise it to show them all how to style a house for maximum sales appeal, and Sara and Hayden like it’s Grandya. Colours, textures, cushions all the stuff got them all excited and in a plot twist, Shelley (who we haven’t seen enough of quite frankly) asked them if they’d like to meet the genius style team who threw it all together in about five and a half minutes… ERMARGERD it’s the Block Judges. I think, they’ve gone to an adbreak again (but pretty sure I saw them in the promos).

Jess is delightful – again – reacting as if she was a 14 year old about to meet Katy Perry, or a Royalist with her Maj.

Everyone mingles, Bianca and Carla get some time with Darren and he talks about how people fall into the trap of getting rugs for the end of the bed, nah cause you need to put your foot on something soft. Get a bigger rug. So simple. Carla agrees.

Jess and Dapper Neale have a tête-à-tête and he tells her that although she might not understand why but she has a good eye. And said sophisticated about a dozen times, and with every utterance of the the word sophisticated the sound of Jess’s ‘Oh yes’ replies got fancier and fancier. Hans poked fun at Courtney for talking with ShaynnaBlaze about zhoozhing, Sara and Hayden were hanging in too.

Hooray, it’s gonna be a CHALLENGE!

The next morning they rock up to a Massive Victorian to do some styling.

And could Shelley be any cuter in that sun/jumpsuit!? (Rhetorical question thanks)

They’re given a bunch of guidelines to consider for their styling project, each team gets a room and six hours. A quick shot of the outside leads me to believe the house is on Canterbury Road probably nearer Middle Park than St Kilda. Nice!

Lucky for B & C they have to share a space and it’s with Hans and Courtney who seem quite amenable. But someone has to choose the dining room and someone the lounge within that space. Luckily they agree on colour palette in record time.

Scotty is excited to see Hayden and Sara off on their shopping trip, reminding Husband Hayden he calls himself The Secret Weapon. I think Scotty’s just excited to see what fights ensue. Or maybe that’s just me.

How will Kerrie and Spence go, sometimes they are a little indecisive but team players from the conjoined room (B,C,CandH) pop in and visit The Oldies* to see if they’re all on the same page, remembering the edict to think of the house as a whole.

A reminder: Sara and The Secret Weapon have left the building.

Buckling up Norm says “Where the bloody hell’s Abbotsford”? Well, my Queensland friend that means that you’ll have to do the infamous ‘crossing of the river’ up the notorious Punt Road. Two things that are the bane of a Melbournian’s existence. In reality it’s only a pain in the arse if you try to do the trek in peak hour or when there’s a game on at the G, if neither of these things is happening you should be fine, matey.

B & C rock up to some store that looks like it could be in Armadale (a 20 minute drive from The Block) and Courtney and Hans are around the corner on Chapel Street. According to The Block clock it’s 9.07 and neither shop is open. Didn’t anyone Google it? I live my life by Google searches telling me the opening hours of places.

Norm gets his “funky pizzaz” on and takes a look in the house of mirrors, I can’t tell if Jess’ “yep, let’s get it” was a conversation shutdown “let’s get it” or a that’s actually a great idea Norm “let’s get it”. Possibly the former? Oh god they’re actually getting it.

Solo operators Hayden and Sara are shown to be in the far flung wilds of The Block Shop (which you’ll remember is diagonally opposite The Gatwick). This is either a genius move or pretty lazy. Regardless IT’S ON, Husband Hayden dares to have an opinion, she tells him to ‘shoosh’, soooo Sare Stare Bear is back with a vengeance:

I may have spoken too soon, Sara begins with “It’s not fine now” as things heat up in the vehicle, with lost bits of paper and Hayden even losing his patience apparently it’s should have all been kept together (the paperwork not their moods I presume). Flip that coin, Courtney and Hans are seemingly enjoying being out together looking at ‘stuff’.

B & C end up at another shop and I just think to myself ‘do they have to buy this stuff or is it on loan’, it’s all for the purposes of selling a house… do they get to keep it and use it in their own joint.

And as feared, Kerrie has trouble making a decision in a shop that has some really great cushions, IMO, BEHIND YOU, KERRIE, BEHIND YOU!

Is it supposed to be Frida Kahlo

Is it a creative breakdown or an indecision conniption?

Ah it is Middle Park, thanks Scotty, we make a great team. Jess tries out spinny chairs and lets the production team in on a secret that white roses will be their special touch.

A couple montage of Sara and Husband Hayden has Sara claiming that they’re worse when they’re at home, fighting all the time. I couldn’t live like that. But whatever pops yer cherry.

The teams are back and everyone starts chucking their bits and pieces into their respective rooms.

B&C look like they’re about to have a quick game of Netty as they realise they have not got enough stuff to fill their space. Deary me. And apparently the shops aren’t open… Hopefully the minimalist look is in this season…

Just when you think surely I’ll start warming to Sara she storms downstairs in search of flowers (because she forgot to buy any) asking Jess and Norm if they had any spare

No. Sorry babe… No flowers for you. As Scotty says “the audacity”!

And then Husband Hayden starts laughing about how many they had in their room. And in a Classic Sara Move she manipulates Norm into helping her shift something heavy to their room, Husband Hayden in the post challenge interview says he’d already done everything else, having enough of staring for the time being, she rolls with an epic eye roll

Which is so epic it’s more of a face roll.

The final ten minute frenzy is on for everyone except Kerrie and Spence, who are still trying to make decisions and fit their furniture in. Again, I couldn’t live like this.

Judging will be done tomorrow, on top of the Sea Baths apparently (which is currently a public space but for the last decade there’s been plans to turn it into a commercial space, at this point anyone can go up and enjoy the view which is especially purdy at sunset)

Thanks again for reading! What a wild ride again.