Where art imitates life, or something. I wasn’t able to watch or dissect the last episode THE episode reportedly that saw Kerrie and Spence call time out and the one that led Sara to shove the Maccas bag over the camera. And I haven’t (yet) had a chance to go back and watch the episode in full as my own life got in the way again of doing this which I’m doing for fun. Back-to-Back twelve hour plus work days that start with a 4am alarm and everything else that gets in the way in between. I hear you Blockers, sometimes you just gotta say when enough’s enough. But it’s not about me…
Is that a little taste of Jon Spencer Blue’s Explosion? That’s certainly lifted my spirits on a Sunday night! Let’s see the ridiculously huge rooms!
Keith’s back in high spirits and flirting with B&C telling them they will probably win tonight (highly unethical surely cause who knows what the judges will think).
“Every single room has been a fight to finish” Courtney not really feeling it today.
Jess has a classy olive tree and makes a very nice reference to needing the branches to give out to other contestants (lap pool issue reminder montage incoming)…
Ooh has Sara been visiting Wallpaper Lady again!? Ruh roh she’s back from West Elm and not happy about a door. Hayden said everything had been nice and calm and then BAM! Sara says she’s going to have The Door taken out, Hayden says nah it’s got to be there because no one wants to be looking into the bedroom from the lounge room (fair call) and Sara stands on the wrong side of the door so Hayden shuts it on her and says stop being a stress head. A bit of couch interview time we find out that she has the shits because the decision wasn’t hers. We then see Sara back in the room with Hayden saying she’ll “throw a hammer through it” if it isn’t removed. They then bicker some more with he calling her a dick and she says he can get F*&^ed.
But some people have real problems. Back to Kerrie and Spence’s roof: remember they cracked it about replacing some clips? Not a big deal… it’s now too heavy. So lights and fans can’t go onto their fancy coiffured ceiling. But the forebears offer some solutions, they’re nice blokes like that. But they walk off and leave Spence to crowbar his handiwork out but they’d done such a good job it was being as stubborn as Sara
Scotty warns us that things are REAL BAD with Sara and Husband Hayden.
“GET RID OF THE DOOR. GET RID OF IT”
“IT LOOKS STUPID”
“YOU LOOK STUPID”
Sara yells at Jack to take down the door, he says ok (I’d value my testicles too Jack) and Hayden tells Jack to leave the door alone.
You’ve ruined it, you’ve ruined it, you’ve ruined it! (The photograph wall because the door needs to be shut to see the Luna Park image.)
She has got a point… (sorry)
Scotty gives us a time out with some lovely images of flowers, puppies, mountains, water, kids etc all to Peer Gynt’s morning suite.
It’s D-Day for Norm and Jess’s rotating Jetson’s fireplace. This should be a piece of piss… Ooh the dirty C word again – compliance. European specifications aren’t the same as Australian specs. Seems like a rookie error to me. So this means that the piece de resistance has to be moved to the middle of the room and the slab of marble needs to be thicker. Jess talks up her Calcutta marble (it’s actually Italian). Floor needs to be removed, with a lot of force but Norm seems ok about it all.
Back to hurricane Sara she’s tossing around a lot of technical terms about square set and architraves. “They’re laughing at you mate because you’re being an idiot”. You know you’re in trouble when you’re getting ‘mated’ by your husband. Stupid cow gets bandied about as well. Bloody nora.
Back upstairs to the fireplace. Jess looks stressed as. Norm looks like he may want to vomit. 52 minutes until power tools down.
DID JESS JUST SAY SHE BOUGHT THE FRIGGEN FIREPLACE FROM GUMTREE?
Give me strength. And Norm.
Of course he’s upset Jess, he slogs his guts out and then a major issue is discovered last minute from another thing bought on bloody gumtree!
Enjoy your well earned sit down, have your little packet of snack nuts and Keith’s got ya back, buddy.
Fast forward to midnight and the couple who were still in bed seemingly only a few hours ago and getting told off for not having painted yet – Hans and Courtney – are furnishing their lounge! Is this the earliest they’ve ever been?
And B&C are so far ahead and relaxed they’re playing with their Alexa. Also, is that the same couch that Jess was getting?
Audio editors give me another boost with this gem from the excellent Transformer album as we check in with Sara and Husband Hayden. Far out, they are STILL at it and then Scotty shows us footage that jumps ahead two hours and even then it’s still ON. Sara saying “I’m over this” Scotty adding “Sara. The rest of Australia is too”.
Fade to black. New day dawns.
Conniption Courtney returns convinced that her styling will ruin it for them and they won’t get a win, Jess reckons that they’ll go for a new record of the most losses in a row, Kerrie and Spence have a lot of stuff to do, B and C are talking about going out for coffee, and Hayden and Sara are talking about getting a divorce. Scotty whistles, I didn’t see him check his watch tonight, for some reason, and all couples hug in relief that they actually can’t do any more Hayden says Sara is brutal and it’s the happiest she’s looked the whole episode. I just don’t get the dynamic.
You want brutal? It’s judgement time. Woah we’re halfway there…
Kerrie and Spence
After cracking it, walking out, and having another major issue with the ceiling last minute Spence seemed very happy and reckons it’s his favourite room. Pressure can get results! Welcome to my life! Ever Dapper Neale is worried that the ceiling is a little low (probably not an issue for midgets like me). Shaynna wonders why such a fancy ceiling isn’t left on its own to be admired, piss off the black fan and the busy lights. They like how the room feels as a space to live in.
(How many people tweeted me earlier in the week saying that K&S will have to win because of their walk-out)
A nod to whoever involved with the Block for these made up bands:
Courtney and Hans
“Oh My God, that just goes on forever!” yes, because it’s the biggest room in block history Shaynna. That table is DIVINE. Hahaha Llama in a car turned into artwork. That was one of my most favourite images when Internet sharing first started. GET THE FUCK OUT I want an open sesame bar!
Is this fluffy cushion the Llama from the car photo?
Also, has everyone gone with a light brown leather couch?
Upshot for Courtney and Hans was “they’ve gone from Zero to Hero” and I don’t believe I heard a ‘but’ in there Scotty!
But now it’s time for newly divorced couple Hayden and Sara… Colour palette, floor good, modular couch tick tick tick but here comes the BUT.
(FWIW I reckon it all looks bunched up one end of the room and is there a sitting area anywhere near the fire thingy?)
Darren starts with the electric fireplace (there’s no gas in the building… interesting…) Neale says it’s a metaphor for the whole room “It’s not real”. When does his comedy festival show start? They play with Alexa for a bit. Shaynna notes “The fireplace isn’t even in my scope of vision”. (heh). Darren says the placement of the dining table interrupts the exit to the terrace. Neale hates the Luna Park wall. QUICK COVER IT UP WITH A DOOR..oh you can’t. Anymore.
Gosh Darren’s really on a roll today, he even hates the flowers on the dining table
It’s three different moods. Personally the droopy ones are best representative of how everyone must feel right about now.
But all attention is diverted to the door without a door. Why? Is the general consensus. Hayden, I hope you have a six pack on ice for the post judging debrief and take down from your beloved wife Sara.
As the judges flee, Darren notices that his book and Shaynna’s are on a sideboard, ShaynnaBlaze with the Quote of the Series says “Well they obviously didn’t open them”.
She and Sara really didn’t get along at their one-on-one did they…
Even Scotty sounded exasperated as his moves onto Norm and Jess.
Darren’s foaming over the scale of the room(s) and even when Hayden and Sara aren’t being judged, they’re being judged, for not picking one of the penthouse spots when they could have. Shaynna of course loved the fossil coffee table straightaway and they all loved it more when they read the book that came with the Indigenous pieces.
Darren says he’s exploding all over the place… I don’t think I can write what he said due to parental warnings. Even the latest indoor tree (olive) gets a tick. BUT it’s not all good Scotty hooks us through another ad break…
HAHAHAHA Shaynna is on fire! Meet The Tonsil:
Great camera work zooming in to the monstrosity. Don’t ever buy anything off Gumtree again Jess!
But Darren thinks it’s fine. Tomato Tomarto again. Shaynna ultimately finds it too polarising. Then onto the dining table, that is apparently too small. Ever Dapper Neale hates the pendant light. The points will be interesting.
Bianca and Carla judgement, they might be justifiably smug this time. I’ll get RSI from noting down all the good things said about the rooms. Maybe Keith was right – they will win. ‘Bianca and Carla on a good day are bloody good’ said Darren BUT Neale doesn’t feel it has the impact that Norm and Jess had. Oh and they haven’t put in enough lights. And Shaynna uses the term rustic, which I don’t think is good.
Darren: A 9 for B&C but a 9.5 for Norm and Jess! A couple of 8s and another 9 he’s a high marker.
Shaynna: Gave 9 to B&C but then Norm and Jess a SIX and a half (wow) Hayden and Sara even got more with 7.5; Courtney and Hans get top spot with 9.5 and Kerrie and Spence get a 9 or was it an 8…
Neale: Hidden around the side what is going to happen after Scotty scrawls the numbers and adds them up? Courtney and Hans?
Ohh they did by half a point! Poor B&C but well done flight couple!
Norm with his tin of Vitamin B looking like he has the world on his shoulders even before we find out in the preview to the week that he’s got to lay his own parquetry.
See you tomorrow night for the start of Kitchen week!
This post originally appeared at: