To Me That Looks Like A Garage Sale
Oh gosh, who could Dapper Neale be referring to with that line?
Hang on are we going straight into judging? I’m confused… or is this just a general recap on Kerrie and Spence’s week? So it is a recap of Kerrie talking through how she’s not comfortable in knowing how to finish ‘Arty Farty’ St Kilda. Oh and there’s Scotty already. Double Oh the judges are there. Earlier than usual…? What does that mean? Someone’s going to lose it at the end of judging perhaps.
The gallery type feel of Kerrie and Spence’s hall gets the big tick and the functional alcove for keys n stuff. Onto the laundry (I want to cry as I schlepped it back to JACKSON STREET LAUNDRY again today) which is perfect and styled very well. Neale says he wants to put a load on as a result… The powder room with its buffing and shining toilet is gushed over and pretty much they’re told they’ve exceeded themselves (they got perfect 10s for their kitchen last week).
Courtney and Hans’ turn, what disasters almost derailed them this time? Oh no sleep and no money. The palm picture is back, and that chair? They judges are going to hate that chair. Maybe.
And the bubble gum pic. Eek. Shaynna likes the vibe and the quirky artifacts. Darren is focusing on the sideboard and questioning how it fits in. It’s bloody gorgeous, so of course it works Darren. The chair looks lonely, a bench seat would work better. Courtney agrees but couldn’t afford one. The laundry is the whitest thing I’ve ever seen, I’d get a migraine every time I went in there. Judges didn’t have a lot of praise, functional and ticking a box at best. The glamour powder room is enjoyed but they suggest flipping the hinge of the door so you don’t see the dunny when the door is ajar.
Suddenly Ginuwine’s Pony ain’t so sexy. Sara and Hayden’s recap shows us her chucking wood again and the burgeoning BFF relationship between Courtney and Sara. Oh that’s right they got the water leak from Bianca and Carla’s powder room at the last minute. Sounds like it was a major crisis averted relatively quickly.
“I’m not happy with the paint job, because I was pretty much doing it all” plus she’s sick and CBFd. And then she smashes something. Feel like they haven’t quite finished. Hopefully the judges are not too concerned about, Sara hopes, and that they just notice the effort she’s put into styling.
Uh oh, lights up and it reveals the dirty floor, judges are so uninpressed:
Scotty tells Sara and Hayden that they noted there are no excuses for not cleaning the rooms for presentation. And here we go Sara says “Can I stop you there Scotty” and made an excuse about mopping it but they were running between rooms yada yada and “we ran out of time” and Scotty blanks her “Yes you did, that’s why they weren’t mopped”. Judges try to be positive but ultimately Neale just notes that they’re “frustrating” and calls their shelf a disaster and it looks like a garage sale., chucking enough stuff on there in the hope that someone likes one of the things.
“What else are you supposed to put on a sideboard?”
Not a picture of Harry and Meaghan!? “The pilot and the flight attendant across the hall offered a finished room when you’re a construction manager Hayden. Manager your time.” Ouch.
HA! And we haven’t even got to the laundry and powder room. Oh thank god, it’s a great laundry for the judge’s eyes. Yet it’s filthy and unfinished. Raw plaster and no caulking. Hayden cites his man flu as a reason. Doesn’t everyone else have the same issue? Spence was crook and Norm for memory. LIFT guys.
Even if you whisper, Sara, the mics can still pic it up. Sara then says “not really” when Scotty asks if they want to hear what the judges said about the powder room. Everyone smirks and shifts uncomfortably. We see the judges walk into the smallest room in the house.
Shannya starts: “What a disaster” Darren continues: “this is a level of unfinished we haven’t seen for a while on the block”. It’s poor and unacceptable. I find it extraordinary that Hayden and Sara feel like they then need to ‘challenge’ the judges to have a go and do it under the circumstances. Excuse me but so far two other teams have managed it. Check yoselves.
Upstairs to Norm and Jess now. “It’s a bloody hallway, what do you put in it? Gotta make it a bit fancy, so I’m stuffed” is the type of confidence from Jess we’ve come to love! But they won the $10k from the buyer’s advocates who think their place is the most likely to sell for the most. And they won the food challenge. With a bit of plaster disaster thrown in and low level bickering. Jess also demonstrates a genius way to vac and polish the floors in a hurry
Darren says it’s styling 101 for the first feature of the hallway. The height of the ceiling and the pendant lights get the seal of approval, but we have to wait until after an adbreak to hear about the off-set skylights (they’re on the side rather than the ceiling).
Norm looks too exhausted to be excited that Shaynna loved how the light goes down the wall from the off-set skylights and they all love the Gatwick ‘artwork’ and I agree the artwork made me catch my breath, it was such a lovely touch.
The small laundry passes. The powder room gets the same treatment as others where you see straight into the toilet. They like it though, if the door hinge could be switched. I personally found it weird because the powder-room, a very odd shape and tiny, is literally next to another bathroom, so two toilets in about three feet of each other. I would prefer a hall cupboard for linen and whatever.
In a week beset by accusations of impropriety, and an issue with waterproofing, and a small leak, how will B&C go? Ooh a hall runner will that last…
What can I do to get that view for the rest of my life? How can I find $3 million in about as many weeks. The girls are not confident going into the judging. Straight away Shaynna says the lights are sexy, the hall runner gets the nod too excellent. I love mine, I just wondered if they would. The styling with the art makes the apartment feel more fun. Painting could be better. Could they actually win this week? A laundry with pizazz! Who would ever have thought. Timber benchtop is tops. Linen storage tick tick tick. And the first apartment with privacy from the toilet. That basin is SO GREAT, it’s literally just a slab of whatever with an outlet at the back. Perfect for powder-room goings on.
Tally up them points Scotty
Darren: 9.5 for B&C; Norm and Jess 8; Hayden and Sara 6.5 (Sara looks like she wants to snot Daz); Courtney and Hans 8; Kerrie and Spence 9.5. This is gonna be a showdown.
Shaynna: B&C 9; Norm and Jess 8; Hayden and Sara 5 (I think she said f*&^k me in response); Courtney and Hans 7.5 and Kerrie and Spence 9.5. Wowee…
Neale gets the decider and there’s half a point in it who will win and what paltry amount will he give Hayden and Sara: Sheesh! Kerrie and Spence get a 10 so they win!
Really could happily move into their place it’s absolutely stunning.
9’s for B&C, Norm and Jess, Courtney and Hans got 8.5 and at the bottom again were Hayden and Sara with a 6.5
On reflection of the judging Sara is actually taking the if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all approach. Enjoy the silence because it looks like next week she’s back to hammering it out with Husband Hayden. Everyone’s broke. Everyone’s stretched. Should be good.
Until then:
