Recap Scene: Watch The BLOCK with Rosemary Walton – Episode 1

Ok, too excited I might cry, my first recap of the greatest season of The Block ever…

Aw look, St Kilda! You so pretty! Good move filming in the height of Summer when the hood really ‘POPS’.

“It’s an Uber cool bayside suburb…” duh Scotty. We know that. But welcome. We’re very happy to have you. Grab a beer with him if you see him around, he’s a good egg.

“My mum always said to me that if you’re going to buy real estate, buy the worst house on the best street. So I found the best street – Fitzroy Street – and then I found the worst house. Well, hotel actually…”  Aw the poor Gatty… Read my first post for links to a great video about what the hotel meant to people.

The Gatty Construction Begins

Yep ok, explainer about the construction, all the preparation work, blah blah bring us the contestants!

Scotty says it’s a monster… incredible views. (Yes they are I can concur!) Apartments 4 and 5 king of the castle… Hang on! Apartment 1 contains a safe… oooh what could be in there!?


Here we go nitty gritty time:

Queenslanders Norm and Jess “Geeze it’s nice here” I love her already, Creedence playing in the background… Norm’s a builder (that’s handy) aw Jess is in radio too! Snap. Two kids and want more… gee whiz

Ha, they’re worried they’ve turned up on the wrong day, I always feel like that heading to parties or an event.

Oops, they’ve parked in the bike lane… hmmm City of Port Phillip will probably give you a $97 fine for that. — FYI that dual bike lane is confusing for locals as much as visitors so I am not surprised. But expect to be yelled at if anyone is riding through and always look both ways.

Sara and Hayden

OOOOH yes a fighting couple already! And about directions too! They’re destined for failure if they can’t even be in a car together. I can’t work out where she pulled that U-ey… tram lines make sense in that area but I can’t make out the awning signs.

Um I wonder if this is the couple I saw bickering in the street during filming (MORE ON THAT LATER).

He’s a construction manager, again – handy. 13 year age gap meh, nothing. Mine’s 15. Oh dear “you’re being cow” that’s not very husbandly language!

This definitely HAS to be the couple I saw bickering in the street during filming. (BUT more on that later)

Yessss Sara’s a potty mouth! We’re going to get along fine.

That’s extraordinary, I don’t remember seeing a highlights package of meltdowns as a prelude to a season!

Oh OK there’s traffic management having blocked the bike lanes off for contestants to use – stand aside CoPP from my previous concerns.

GatwickBikelane.PNG

 

Rolling up Hayden says “Queenslanders for sure” How do you tell what a Queenslander looks like!?

ERMAGERD WE’RE GONNA BE FRIENDS! *so not going to be friends

Moving onto the next lot… “The oldest couple” (checks Block bios – they’re 48 and 46!)

And so old they’ve got nothing interesting to say apparently ;) Welcome Kerrie and Spence. I get the feeling they’ll just get on with it and be the quiet achievers.

Oh here we go! Team Netters – Bianca and Carla! Bianca’s been desperate to do the show for ages, so glad it’s happening.

More driving, I love seeing Melbourne on the telly… Is that Balaclava? They’re driving by too quickly.

Another hostie. What are the odds!? Courtney and Hans… unable to make an assessment at this point about my ‘vibe’ for their success in the show.

 


Finally we get to see inside…

Oh god I hope they keep the features of the entrance, I love that little welcome booth. Oh and stained glass! I think I was born in the wrong era.

Dead rat!? Surely that’s a plant by the production crew! There’s no rodent issues in the ‘hood! If there is, they need a Block cat, like my cat Punter…

Yeah, enough of how it looked when you walked in, got to love a preview montage – bring on the meltdowns. I’m feeling that we’ll some this season that will rival those of Dee Jolly.

Oh so The Block shop is Scotty’s office!? (I snuck into the opening of the shop, so I guess we’ll get to see that in the coming episodes)

Oooh they just flashed up the front of The Palais, I might have to start up a St Kilda Bingo card for future episodes when they show icons or landmarks!

No doubt the rooms they’re showing have been dressed up and displayed for shock purposes but yep people lived there… and it wasn’t great but it was home to many. Let’s not get too judgy.

I’m “Fricken freaking out…” – put that on a tshirt.

Oh yes, the safe… what could the timer mean tell us please Scotty! Two red covered easels will that explain what the apartments are?

90,000 applicants? That’s insane! Oooh the Penthouse level. Yes thanks. Can they rent it to me for low low prices?

<side note, I got a sneak peak a month or so ago and they’re, as you’d expect, amazing>

What’s the challenge Scotty? A kid’s room. Ah. I’d put in a ball pit and a flying fox from the top of a bunk to the kitchen! Why did he just say it’s going to be the most important room you do… is that coming back later or is it just because that means you get first pick of the apartments… $220,000 for a kid’s room!? Oh no for the whole thing. I’m terrible at budgets, I’m guessing that’s going to be hard.

I’m exhausted already. Oh I love that view of town.

 Towards Melbourne town - the green patch with the lights is Albert Park Lake and surrounds

Towards Melbourne town – the green patch with the lights is Albert Park Lake and surrounds

Hang on did he explain the safe? Or is that the 48 hours for the challenge and they get the money back if they win? I zoned out. Figures aren’t my thing.

Pokey dusty rooms to clear out, and sodden carpets. (Noice. Again surely that’s a bit of poetic/production licence) Ooh cute little sink area.

Replace the ceiling? Get some gaffa love!

Hayden and Sara doing their own thing. Interesting. This could potentially be a genius move, but I suspect nah it won’t. “Think smart and not stupid”, can’t say I’ve heard that before.

Sleep deprivation always makes me put my best foot forward, and they haven’t even really begun! This is going to be a monumental disaster.

Teamwork, always important early on.  I’d be taking notes on who’s naughty and nice. I have an elephant like memory and no qualms about getting petty at crunch time if any other contestants didn’t ‘play ball’.

Jess wants a sunken day bed for a kid? That kid will be climbing up the ‘transcendental’ curtain before you can say Namaste bitches.

Fix ya hardhat Biancs!

I like those graphics. Is a tepee cultural appropriation? Or is it just a tiny tent…

Oh so they get the burly dudes to help them move their crap! Maybe they are the smart not stupid people they were purporting to be.

Did Kerrie and Spence make that house in that magazine!? Oh surely they win! Might go alright if they have naps, seeing they’re “old”… (no I’m not going to let this go as I’m nearer their ages than the others’)

A coiffured ceiling? Does it have flicky hair? Whatever it’s actually called – sounds a tad ambitious to me. For a challenge room that potentially means nothing if it’s not a part of the actual apartment you get in the end.

Look at his sweaty regret face!? Good luck Spence! I’m nervous for you. And Kerrie.

 

 I love these drone shots, the Catani lawns look like velvet!

I love these drone shots, the Catani lawns look like velvet!

Why would you order panels that big for such a tiny room? (Did I mention I’m bad at maths and therefore geometry so I may have no idea). Hopefully I work out who is who better by tomorrow night.

Looking for a carpark for an hour at a Shopping Centre, clearly it’s Chaddy on a Sunday. Also an fyi re St Kilda parking always look down near Loch Street towards Middle Park where she is, you can often find a sneaky longer non metered park if you’re in the area.  But don’t tell anyone. Please. That’s my secret spot.

Hang on, did that lady at the van say she’s from The Block Shop? It’s across the road, why did she drive!? Maybe it was before they moved in… it’s hard to tell what’s real at this point of filming. It opened in February.

AGAIN BIANCA – what’s with ya helmet!?

I love it when the contestants quibble about how much they have to do when they’re standing their talking rubbish while actual tradies go hammer and tong around them.

Courtney’s going to be quite demanding of my patience, isn’t she.

Yes Scotty, smoke and mirrors! C’mon Courtney, you can do it.

Ruh Roh. You can’t take someone’s door. Controversy number 1, we are off! What was that little mutter?

Goody! 25 hours to go on the kids bedroom challenge and it looks like people have done sweet FA!

Ooh poor communicators, we’ve all worked with them or lived with them. Use your words darl!

I love wallpaper but effed if I’m confident enough in doing that!

Ha safety inductions! This could totally bring people undone. No ticket no show. Or something. Flight attendants should fully appreciate this!

Oh ouch, Emma! Setting the boundaries early! Stay staunch.

I’m really going to enjoy the music overlays.

Oh what a pain when you forget your wallet, just recently I had to add Google Pay onto my phone for that very reason. And Kerrie has to go back!? Oh no, disaster!

Richmond Mitre 10 to Fitzroy Street… this could be interesting. A 20 minute drive back at best!

TheBlockToMitre10.png

Oh Kerrie, we’ve all done that. Not the little wee but the losing of the card. Ok, yes the little wee too.

Ah a classic pencil case! Didn’t know you could still buy those. I never had one cause I couldn’t fit my whole name in the slots! She won’t be back for another hour! Not good.

More driving. Excellent. Jess, no I don’t think you can turn right at Jackson. That’s a nightmare. You’re where? How did you get onto City Road now!? LOL Now you’re in the tunnel. Oh babe. You are in all sorts. Even if there’s dodgy editing, and I don’t think there is, that’s hilarious!

Hang on what did it say on the safe clock? Has anyone got time to do all the stuff that needs to happen?

No one likes flat-packing. You’re kidding yourself Carla.

Ok now for the covfeve ceiling. Can’t wait to see how this turns out (if).

Oh 16 hours, that’s not so bad. But it’s 455pm what time is tools down for noise reasons?

Right 5pm. Sheesh. And he did the ceiling hoo ha! Champion.

I need to go to Tolarno for a wine just watching them. I feel grimey!

Right, I just lapsed into a coma thinking about paint fumes, no sleep and being stuck inside a room that small for pretty much 24 hours. I’d go feral and would make so many mistakes! Isn’t painting ideally supposed to be accurate?

Stressy so stressy, you’re tired, you’re emotional and you have to decide which apartment could be the best one to choose. And there’s that stupid safe again in Apartment 1. Someone choose Apartment 1 first please to get it over and done with! I NEED TO KNOW.

Geez was that Courtney!? I don’t want to get into scatalogical territory but I’ve never understood the so-called nervous poo.

Back to the drama – I’m no psychic but anyone could see that adjusting that tongue was going to end in disaster! Why did you need to shut the door anyway? Bloody boys, always needing to touch things.

Oh she is going to have a full panic attack! NO not a hook to next episode!? Poo.

Shaynna is psychic! Sensing the panic!

Good choice ending on Highway To Hell…did you know AC/DC lived around the corner in Dalgety Street briefly?

WOO indeed! SO good to have The Block back.

See you tomorrow night.

St Kilda Block Watch

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